did you get engaged???
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
