I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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