got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize