So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
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He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
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no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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