so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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