At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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