How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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