She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
