oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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