how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize