So drunk its hurt
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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