Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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