i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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