It's Friday. Sex?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
