Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
