he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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