My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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