why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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