I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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