that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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