At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
