Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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