I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
