I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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