Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
