foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
