I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize