How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize