Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize