if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
