people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
