i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
