How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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