He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
