just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
