Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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