no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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