Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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