i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
