Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize