Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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