just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
