Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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