it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
