Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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