well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
