He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
