I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Drake has all the answers
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
