i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
