I didn't shave. On purpose
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
