3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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