I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize