Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
