Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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