Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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