Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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