If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
