i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
