Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
