I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
